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My collected stuff. by sexyfootlover

LITERATURE by sexyfootlover

my collected stuff 2 by sexyfootlover

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Submitted on
May 16, 2010
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Becoming A Neko's Pet pt.1

He ran through the black forest terrified.  The creature that chased him showed no sign in stopping its pursuit.  Every time Tom thought he had lost it the thing would appear in front of him making him change his course.  "Why," he thought annoyed as his legs charged through the black night and towering trees, "Why does my life suck!"

Looking Back

Tom was a six foot tall sixteen year old with brown hair, blue eyes, and a light build.  He wore a plain blue t-shirt with tan short pants.  He was smart, always receiving straight B's and winning awards.  His parents however never thought this was good enough.  When he came home he'd receive long lectures, even beatings about how he wasn't the perfect child they'd always wanted or how he was the biggest disgrace of mankind.  All he wanted was their love and they never gave it to him, so today instead of going straight home at four like he was supposed to he walked down the street mumbling about how hated his parents.

The town he lived in was small and had a massive forest that existed behind it.  No one ever went in however saying that anyone who entered it would never come out.  Tom had no intention to ever stop foot in the place, however as he mumbled about his parents he didn't pay any attention to where he was going as he put one foot in front of the other walking towards the woodland. He finally stopped when his head connected with a tree causing him to yelp in pain stumbling backwards as he rubbed his scalp.  Looking up he saw the tree he had hit in front of him.  Behind the tree was a vast clearing with a small lake (about thirty feet in diameter) that glistened in the now setting sun.  Looking behind himself he saw nothing but trees that he had somehow missed.  Knowing where he was he started to feel scared as he turned around preparing to leave.  Remembering what waited for him when he went home however, he brushed off his fear and decided to sit by the lake and enjoy the warm peace and quiet instead of putting up with his parents.

Lying on the ground like a board with his arms behind his head, he let his mind wander as the thoughts about his life disappeared in the peace and tranquility the day and lake gave off.  He heard some birds chip as they settled down for the day, wind swaying the grass, and the low growl of an animal.  Alarmed Tom quickly sat up and looked in the direction the sound had come from.  There was nothing except the tall grass that flourished on the other side of the lake.  Waving it off as nothing but his imagination he laid back down and finished enjoying his time.  When the air started to become cold and the forest had turned pitch black he finally decided to head home and put up with his parents.     

It was hard to see but his eyes had already adjusted to the darkness, so he wasn't blind as he made his way back.  Just as he reached the trees however the growl sound from earlier echoed through the woods.  Looking up he saw its source sitting on a large branch.  The creature stood crouched on the branch looking down at him.  Its features were non-descript in the darkness, but Tom could see a tail swish behind it and pointed cat like ears on top of its head.  While Tom stared at it, it stared back growling here and there.  

Feeling a little scared Tom decided to just keep walking forward to see if it wouldn't bother him.  Just as he took a step forward the creature jumped down in front of him, the whites of its eyes shining through the darkness as it peered at him again.  Even up close he couldn't make out any physical features other than noticing the creature stood on two feet at about his height.  

Resuming the stare contest Tom figured the thing wasn't going to leave him alone and started thinking how he was going to get passed it.  Deciding to try something easy he turned left and sprinted as fast as he could away from the beast.  Looking behind him he saw it easily keeping pace.  The thing gave off a small feminine giggle as he looked into its face while keeping his pace.  Then before he knew it something whip like wrapped around his leg causing him to trip.

Tom's face hit the dirt floor of the woodland hard.  As he picked himself up he heard the creature say in another giggle, "Your fun."  The voice was feminine like the giggle before, so Tom figured it was a woman at the least.  Rolling over he felt the whip that had wrapped around his leg release, as it returned to its owner Tom saw the whip was actually her tail.  "Who and what are you," Tom wondered allowed.  His comment just made her giggle again.  

Through the darkness he saw the outline of her hand rise to her face.  She proceeded by licking it then reaching out to him.  Growing terrified Tom jumped to his feet and started sprinting through the forest again.  

Present Moment

When Tom finished his complaining he felt his foot catch a stone sending him into field of sharp rocks.  As his body rolled through the spiky field he hollered in pain when the points tore his skin leaving long gash marks on his body.  He stopped rolling when one last rock dug deep into the flesh of his left leg making him scream at the pain.  While he tried to sit up the thing appeared in front of him still giggling.  

"You think this is funny," Tom cried clutching his wounded leg.

"No, I just think it's funny that you keep trying to escape."

"Why shouldn't I be trying to escape, your probably going to kill me!"

"I would never kill my pet," she scoffed.

"P-pet," Tom stuttered confused.

"Yes, pet."

"I am not your pet," Tom shouted angrily at her while slowly getting to his feet then falling back down from the pain in his leg.

"Yes you are it's your reward for not disturbing the forest."

"How is being your pet a reward?"

"Because," she said sitting down cross-legged, "Three things happen when a human enters my forest. If they enter my forest and start killing animals then I shrink them down and eat them."

"Shrink them," Tom interrupted frightened.

"Yes, I can use my saliva in four different ways.  One is I use it like you humans do to help break down food; Two I can change it into a healing agent that seals and cleans wounds.  Speaking of which…" She said licking her finger and grabbing his arm.  Before he could resist she moved her finger down the wound.  Her touch was gentle, wet, and fuzzy for some reason when Tom felt fur.  When she pulled her finger away Tom heard a small sizzle.  He stared in wondered as his arm healed until it looked like the wound was never there.  As Tom gawked in wonder at his suddenly perfect arm she continued.

"Three I can transform it into a tranquilizer; or four I can make it a shrink concoction that reduces whatever I touch to a mere four inches.  Back to what I was saying earlier; if a human enters my forest and starts tearing up the place then I both shrink it and leave it for the animals, or I make it my slave for two weeks until I decide to be rid of it.  Finally if they enter and just go about kindly respecting the world around them then I keep them as my pet, which I take care of and protect."

"Why can't you just let me go," Tom asked still clutching his leg.

"Because you're so much fun and now that you've seen me I can't let you leave.  Humans tend to babble about things that may cause hunters to come and attempt to capture me," She replied her smile lighting up the darkness.  

"What if I don't tell anybody anything that I've seen, can I go then," Tom bargained

"Hmm no; unfortunately for you I've found humans to be a bit untrustworthy.  Unless if they are my cute little pet of course."  

"What if I don't want to be your pet?"

"Too bad," was her flat reply.

After hearing her Tom tried to get to his feet to flee again but had his leg collapse beneath him causing him to scream in pain again as he fell on his back.

"Please stop doing that," she asked concerned.  "I admire your will to try to escape, but I don't like seeing my pet in such pain," she asked concerned.

"Deal with it then, because I'm not being your pet," Tom growled back trying again only to have the same result happen.

Her response was to raise a finger that grew a claw.  She licked the claw then proceeded to touch Tom with it.  Panicking Tom tried to stand once more and yet again fell back down this time on his stomach.  He felt a small prick come from behind then everything went dark.

Some Hours Later,

Tom awoke feeling groggy as he rubbed his eyes.  When his vision cleared he found himself looking at a massive sun lit room.  The room looked like a normal living room complete with a small couch, carpet, some plants, some windows, and a small table that he was sitting on.  Upon seeing all the gigantic items Tom clutched his chest taking in large breaths.  That's when he noticed his condition.

His t-shirt was torn in several places.  His shorts were better but still had a few holes here and there and his shoes were intact.  This didn't surprise him however.  What did surprise him was the fact that there wasn't a scratch on him.  Panicking he rolled his left leg over to see the wound that prevented him from running the night before was no longer there as well.

His breath started coming in choking rasps as sweat streamed down his face.  

"It's just a dream," he thought, "That's it just a dream.  I'm completely healed and everything is big because it is just a dre-" he froze when loud thumps were heard coming towards him.  He turned around to see what he thought to be his midnight stalker appear in the hallway.

  She was massive (at least to him) with blue eyes like his, blonde hair, tan-pink skin, and a very pretty smiling face.  She wore short tan pants like his however there were no pockets.  She didn't wear a shirt and instead wore a cloth that covered the bottom of her massive breasts.  Everything about her seemed human except for three different flaws.  One she had a long pink tail that swished the air behind her; two she had furry pink cat ears at the top of her head instead of normal human ears; three there was fur on the back of her hands and fur all over her clawed feet, the palms of her hands were normal like a humans though.  

The sight of her, though pretty, made him lose it, so to speak.  His mind could no long take in what he was seeing, causing his heart to beat faster making his chest swell with pain.  Blackness began to overtake his eyes as he slowly lost conciseness.  Before he let the darkness take him he saw her reach out for him a concerned look on her face.  
Then everything went black.
Heh first time I made a sm/g story. There's not a lot of shrinking or giantess in this part I know but it'll be in the next one. Im more of a gentle fan so dont expect there to be anything that involves crushing or vore (maybe some light stuff here and there)

If this story seemed really odd or anything then heres two reasons why
1. It all happened in a dream that occured two nights straight
2. It's my first

Much obliged to anyone that reads it and gives me comments to make me feel good or help me improve.

5/17/10: Made a few edits and fixed some typos that I just noticed.
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LucustheLucario Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2013
was that last paragraph a long way to say: He fainted.
Danoob13 Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2013  Student Writer
jjjtttddd Featured By Owner May 5, 2013
this is good he has a will even though his life stinks i have a good life and i would not go down that easy but i would get captured to even if i was fast hope you do more
Tyger15 Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2011
Sucks for him, kinda…at least he's alive…and away from his parents.
Danoob13 Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2011  Student Writer
You say that now.... but who knows what the future holds?
Darkness2399 Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2011
Not bad though I should make a point. While you do have a good job of telling the story, a lot of it seems to move by slowly. You tend to be telling the story rather than putting it into scene. Frequently during the flash backs you also had repetition of words such as parents and mumbled. Either use different words or fall back to the word them or they. Them and they are antecedents that are directed back towards the last mentioned group that isn't your main character. Later down the line for your sentence Several Hours later you put a comma not a period at the end. While it isn't major punctuation placement can greatly alter the feel of a story and may even alter your given effect.

That aside I like the characters, though your neko needs some work. I can stand four different effects from saliva but you don't really have a way to explain how she can produce them rather than their just there by intention. For now the gap is fine but you may want to come up with a really defined concept if you want people to believe it. Also each saliva should have a side effect or problem with it so it isn't a jack-of-all-trades thing she can do all the time. With the healing saliva, while it does heal wounds the person should feel the stitch and knit of flesh and bones as an itch or fast paced form of what the healing is long term. For the anesthetic maybe it makes her drowsy or it slows response functions for the person knocked out until they walk it off. As for the shrinking one, you may have to work for that, since THAT saliva would be in contact in her mouth the entire time, technical wouldn't it have the ability to shrink HER first?

Now the last bit, you gave us a description of your characters though they seem more like outlines. Better outlines than I have seen in some stories but you don't really define them beyond basic items, their faces are left to the imagination and proportions can shift in scale from person to person so that is a thing to look into.

Now him blacking out... I went through phase like this once or repeatedly knocking out or blacking out the main character. It seems dramatic but the repetition of blackness or darkness really starts to wear the reader down. For the last time it may just be easier to say he faints, it takes less words and it also makes a more defined moment for the reader.

Now that all being said, this isn't bad for a first story. I am interested to see where the next one goes.

Last piece of advice! Hemingway once said "The first draft is a pile of ----." Basically after you write it look it over and read it out loud to see how it sounds to you. Once satisfied save and PRINT IT OUT! Go about your day, maybe grab a sandwich or watch TV then come back to the story again with fresh new eyes, eyes not attached to the work like you were when you wrote it, and read it out loud again. This twice read system will help you catch as many of your mistakes, show you if your dialogue seems right, etc.

Good Luck!
Danoob13 Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2011  Student Writer
Yes! This is the type of comment I have been wanting all this time. One that tells me how to imporve my writing to make it better. I enjoy the pats on the back from others that tell me I did a good job, but I've longed for a comment like this one.

I am going to re-read this one several times before I get back to you with a REAL response, Darkness.

For now, thanks for this.
Darkness2399 Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2011
I know what you mean about the pats on the back. I actually QUIT a forum i used to write for cause after two years of asking for such comments they only gave me pats on the back. While I know the compliments help they slowly force you to start to second guess yourself, uncertain of how good it really is. Thanks to certain classes and friends I know a lot more than then but it only really helps if you spread the word to other writers. While I can't wait for more stories I hope you take my heads up to heart and apply it to your work, the writing will improve considerably.
Danoob13 Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2011  Student Writer
Yeah... The would probably one of the other reasons it took me so long to make a second part, regardless of how good or bad it may have been. I was constantly worried if it would be any good and constantly scraped whatever I wrote. I eventually just lost any inspiration or motivation I had because of it.

I'm planning on taking a creative writing class for my second semester of school this year, though, so I hope it will help me improve.

Spreading the word is hard for me... I am a very shy person at times. Asking some big writer guy to read my stories is like asking me to speak in front of two hundred people... can't be done.

Thanks again, perhaps I should find a good proof reader that'll do more than just fix typos and commas.
walkingbyself Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I like it I cant find anything to point out really. I'm not a grammar maniac so sorry I cant help you there. The flow of the story was good and I had no issue with your switching back and forth between the present time to earlier that day and then back again to present time. For a story made out of a dream you've had for two nights in a row this is actually really good. And for being your first its also well written compared to my own "firsts" which I can say are no where near a computer at this time. I hope to see more about Tom and this mysterious pink neko with so far no name. +1 in my book thanks for sharing this story with us.
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